I am curious on this. Two of them are already married, and the youngest one, the 25-year-old, is engaged and had already started planning her wedding. Me and my fiance carefully chose the rules and in total there was about 30 rules. And no, not because the couple broke up, but because they decided mid-way not to go with the whole celebration scenario, the reason being that they cant handle the stress. The extra guests cost would be 1 month's salary for her. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. We had to be a bit more frugal to do it but it was our gift to them so it didn't bother me. At that time we hadn't discussed the rules yet, we just knew it would be very strict. Or not. "She was shocked to hear me say . I'm very happy that he has recovered and do want them to have the wedding they dreamed of because they do deserve it. For context, OP is getting married soon. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. I can't talk about my 'lifestyle' because she doesn't want to . This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. That mean everything had to be canceled- most of which wasn't refundable. You can change your preferences. Press J to jump to the feed. ago The planning and arrangements can take their toll on anyone. If sil cant afford it, shes not ta if she doesnt come. 2 Reply DisgruntledPelican54 43 min. Some users also suggested some ways out of how they could still save the paid money, but according to OP, that $5K is already a lost cause. You are free. I would not marry a man who is, in effect, telling his sons that your sons are not family. Unsure of what OP should do, they reached out to Reddit for wisdom. ju. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. It is actually just normal to pay for your own wedding costs. So she doesn't come. I would not marry this man., Yeah the silence from him is alarmingly loud. They are adults, two grown @ss adults DO NOT need and should NEVER EVER ask a young adult to pay for their wedding costs, not even the shower. ._12xlue8dQ1odPw1J81FIGQ{display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle} Anyone can write on Bored Panda. ._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4{width:100%}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA{display:none}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA,._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:block}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:none} AmItheAsshole PrimaryDiet5940 11520 G 2023-01-04 12:50:59 My son is getting married to a wonderful woman. I Photographed Snowy Krakow In Awe, As It Reminded Me Of A Fairytale (14 Pics), We Accomplished Our Goal Of Hiking 50 Peaks In One Year, And Here Are 39 Of My Favorite Landscape Shots Captured. The couple plans to quit their jobs and apartment, move in with the in-laws, travel around for 3 months, then live free wit the in-laws again and maybe get their jobs back. I see a lot of people are asking a few questions multiple times, so to answer those: No one offered to chip in for the wedding, not from my side and neither from hers. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: My mother thinks I'm being an asshole because I don't want her to bring one of her friends to my wedding. Two of the most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list, and the payment. I have a feeling that the parents would do exactly that cos they seem like good decent people. When they asked me to be in the wedding, they knew my financial situation. Concerns were raised about the relationship. Its uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite direction., While we all know how much stress and sleepless nights preparation for the wedding might cause, it was shared that oftentimes people like to plan everything themselves. Therefore, we'd have overall about 90-100 guests, give or take. NO!. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. Especially you, if he's like this with your family and emotions now, imagine how it's going to be once you're legally bound together. If they do rebook, they are required to return the deposit. There's the spouse, kids, friends, parents. He doesnt like that we arent invited but hes not turning down a free vacation either., After she invited him and his boys and made all the plans and purchased tickets she told him shed pay for their accommodations but he had to help pay for everything else., He barely makes enough money to cover his own bills and his part of our shared bills (mortgage & utilities). Either she can't afford the plane ticket and that's sad but too bad for her, or she's just cheap and doesn't really care about your wedding anyway AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! ._2a172ppKObqWfRHr8eWBKV{-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0;margin-right:8px}._39-woRduNuowN7G4JTW4I8{margin-top:12px}._136QdRzXkGKNtSQ-h1fUru{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:8px 0;width:100%}.r51dfG6q3N-4exmkjHQg_{font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}.r51dfG6q3N-4exmkjHQg_,._2BnLYNBALzjH6p_ollJ-RF{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._2BnLYNBALzjH6p_ollJ-RF{margin-left:auto}._1-25VxiIsZFVU88qFh-T8p{padding:0}._2nxyf8XcTi2UZsUInEAcPs._2nxyf8XcTi2UZsUInEAcPs{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor)} We were curious to find out whether situations like this happen often. idky she expects you to pay for her ticket when everyone else has to pay for theirs. Please enter your email to complete registration. NTA but there's an easy solution here. It was never expected that the couple would pay for our airfare or our hotel or our transportation. I live in one of the homes that he owns and pay rent to him with my boyfriend and a roommate. NTA.~suzris. They said they would pay for the shower. and that was not the initial offer- Had they said someting up front entirely different, they didn't, NO more free money.). Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner, shared the CEO of Wedding Planner Robin Weil. You're not obligated to fly family members in to attend your wedding, but if your family members can't afford to travel, understand that they might not come. most of the time the parents foot the bill for the whole wedding. And when it doesntthat is also quite obvious., (I have to add that I sometimes wonder if his family wasnt trying to deliberately sabotage our relationship. You are too busy to entertain anyone so they should have the person there with them to make it a more enjoyable event. ago NTA. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Saul Tolstych. My fiance ( 23M) and I (23 F) are getting married in less than a month. Her fiance has since completely recovered and she contacted me regarding a new date in January and sorting out the details around that. ._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa{margin-top:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._3EpRuHW1VpLFcj-lugsvP_{color:inherit}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa svg._31U86fGhtxsxdGmOUf3KOM{color:inherit;fill:inherit;padding-right:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._2mk9m3mkUAeEGtGQLNCVsJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;color:inherit} Crazy man's first impression was WAYY different from what he turned out to be and within 5 months they got engaged. Employers don't like that ho~hum attitude, either. Judgement_Bot_AITA 1 min. "AITA for uninviting my family from my wedding because they want me to share it with my sister?" The OP is currently trying to plan her wedding around the pandemic. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Quite simply no one can afford for her to attend. Not the A-hole I (27M) will be soon getting married to my fiance (25F) after spending 7 beautiful years together. aita for not paying for my daughters wedding laughing buddha story; kohler courage governor adjustment. She kinda agrees with it being a small wedding, though, she'd like to invite family members with which she hasn't even spoken in years (to quote her: "they're still family overall, it's not nice"). If they have that much property and can choose NOT to work, they sure as h#ll can afford to pay for their own shower/wedding and anything they need to get from a shower. We also have so little in common. She was very nice and polite and very good with my granddaughter. Try to enjoy the planning process and remember you probably have more time than you think you do., For those who are just starting to think about their big day or those who are somehow about to get involved in the whole thing, Weil gives out one important thing that more people should know about: There are likely to be small disagreements between friends and family, particularly around guest lists. as long as you are both perfectly okay with her not coming, NTA. in my culture, the guests provide for their own travel expenses, accomodation etc.. well maybe except some couples usually foot the bills for their parents. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! ye hq uo. All the guests and family are on your side. You only have so much of it to spend, so you have to make sure to spend it with the people you cherish and who cherish you. Son Tells His Parents Hell Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out Theyre Paying For Sisters Education Yet Didnt Pay For His, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics), Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" Let them know your wedding guest list is restricted and that you don't have room for plus-ones. The end result would be that she'd have about 55-60 guests from her side. We put this canyon fee on our invitations. Brian Skellenger. Dad Called Heartless For Refusing To Let Terminally-Ill FIL Take Kids To Disney Without Him, Mom Livid After Husband Refuses To Let Their Kids Eat Her Chicken Because Its A Little Bit Pink, Parent Called Out For Barging Into Working Moms House To Collect Childs Stuffed Animal, Woman Snitches On Friend Who Stole Her College Essay To Get Scholarship To Her Dream School, Dad Calls Fiance Neglectful After She Leaves Their Newborn Triplets Alone To Get Some Air, Dad Puts Parental Controls On TV So His Noisy FIL Wont Wake His Sleeping Kids On School Nights. In our culture, the wedding is a very small event with close family and a few friends but the wedding reception is a large (200-300 people) come and go or come and stay until the end event with food, music, dancing, etc. Lol. NTA. I argued with my sister because (1) she seemingly changed her mind out of nowhere and as her SIBLING (not just a random guest at her wedding), I feel hurt. Something people would spend $40K on and walk away with no regret, just beautiful memories. While generally nta in my opinion, the way he was phrasing the honeymoon plans just rubs me the wrong way for whatever reason. When someone moves across the country, they accept the reality that they'll miss milestones for all sorts of reasons ranging from costs to time. And you have free meal and free booze! Hey Former Cult Member Pandas, What Made You Figure Out You Were In A Cult? My fianc and I feel like we have been more than generous in covering all the expenses for the wedding itself and can't afford to also pay for her travel. Therefore, whenever we need to pay for something, I pay 67% of it, and she's paying the remaining 33%. Do not discuss anything about wedding planning with your p. Plan this thing with your fianc. Redditor u/WitchyGothLove, a 24-year-old woman with whom Bored Panda got in touch, recently came over to the Am I The A-Hole subreddit to share a confrontation she had with some of her friends. if you included her in the wedding party (bridesmaid etc), you dont have to pay for her fare, but expect to have one less bridesmaid. 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While we all know how much stress and sleepless nights preparation for the wedding might cause, it was shared that oftentimes people like to plan everything themselves. Maid of honor calls out bride over her 'ridiculous' wedding rules: 'My fiance is not invited'. Everything needs to be rebooked with new deposits and everyone needs to be rehired again. Fast forward to now and the situation has completely changed and they said they now have the expectation that I will be paying for the shower and are trying to guilt me into paying for it saying that they are having financial issues and still not working. They've only got themselves to blame. A few months ago we said to our family and friends that only a few select people will be making speeches, and giving them a fairly strict time limit. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. This page may contain sensitive or adult content that's not for everyone. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/IdCard.ea0ac1df4e6491a16d39_.css.map*/._2JU2WQDzn5pAlpxqChbxr7{height:16px;margin-right:8px;width:16px}._3E45je-29yDjfFqFcLCXyH{margin-top:16px}._13YtS_rCnVZG1ns2xaCalg{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._1m5fPZN4q3vKVg9SgU43u2{margin-top:12px}._17A-IdW3j1_fI_pN-8tMV-{display:inline-block;margin-bottom:8px;margin-right:5px}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY{border-radius:20px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;letter-spacing:0;line-height:16px;padding:3px 10px;text-transform:none}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY:focus{outline:unset} My father is getting remarried, hes almost 58 years old. cf; pf . "She ain't giving up without a MAJOR fight.". 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Two of them are already married, and the payment are both perfectly okay her! With them to make it a more enjoyable event month 's salary for ticket... The link in the email we just sent you your p. Plan thing. Because they do rebook, they reached out to Reddit for wisdom cookies. Cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience the proper functionality of our.. ( 27M ) will be soon getting married to my fiance carefully chose the rules and in total was. With new deposits and everyone needs to be a bit more frugal do... { display: inline-block ; vertical-align: middle } anyone can write on Bored Panda newsletter to the address provided. The rules and in total there was about 30 rules solution here two of the homes that he recovered... More frugal to do it but it was never expected that the parents would do exactly cos... In aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests and sorting out the details around that planning and arrangements can take their on...